I’m so tired. It’s not a complaint, merely a statement of fact. My teenage daughter had a micro melt down last night, its been brewing for a while. She pretends it’s just her friends that have emotional issues, weight worries and lack of overall social comfort, but I know it’s her too. I, afterall, am female. In fact I’m in prime hormonal crisis territory too. So I told her I got it.
I get that she’s tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, unsure, resentful, jealous, fearful, nervous and plain old fed up at times. That’s life, that’s teenage years, that’s adjusting, that’s how it has to be.
I told her I was tired.
I’m tired of not having slept for more than two hours undisturbed for over 6 months. Tired of trying to keep the house tidy. Tired of the endless washing pile. Tired of the monotony of filling the dishwasher. Tired of being the only person that notices rubbish on the floor. Tired of changing the empty toilet roll over. Tired of lifting the bathmat off the floor. Tired of having the responsibility. Tired of trying to stop the big boy from frying his brain in the endless trap of the internet. Tired of trying to stop the little boy from being tired and ratty. Tired of telling my daughter how beautiful she is for her not to believe me. Tired of wondering if I’m doing all I can to keep my other half happy. Tired of asking myself if I could do better. Tired of saying ‘I’m tired’ when someone asks me what’s wrong. Tired of being tired.
I then told her that it was worth it, that I would never give in. Every time I see one of them smile, hear laughter, am engaged in a conversation, get told how
yummy dinner is, have a text from my daughter, a kiss from my boys, a cuddle from my man, a giggle from myself I know it’s all absolutely worth it. I love my life, I love the people around me and the things we do.
If only they could see, I’m just tired is all.
Posted with Stone Power