I have an ongoing battle with my weight. It’s a dull story, I’ve had children, stopped work to be a stay at home mom for my youngest and gained a lot of weight!! It’s a combination of being sedentary, being insane and eating all of the toddler rejections. In my efforts to prove to him how lovely food is I’ve done nothing but gain hips to perch him on.
So enough is enough. No more prosecco, no more chicken nuggets and no more lounge days.
He’s only just started nursery and settled well which has freed up that legendary ‘me’ time. I started running only to discover I’m too heavy to run at the pace I want without causing myself injury. I do yoga every morning, but if I don’t get the timing right my little man feels hard done by and destroys the yogic dream, but I keep trying. I went for a bike ride and rode through glass destroying the front tyre of my ma’s bike. I’ve stopped alcohol as I know that’s my biggest calorie intake. The universe absolutely knows I’m a tryer if nothing else!
The day before yesterday I dropped him off to nursery, dashed up the hill to prove I was allowed to register with a doctor, piled money on the gas and electric, stocked up on bread and milk and then decided it was time to take the plunge.
I battled through the icy rain, I forced my way through the wind and I dived into that pool.
I was swamped with emotion.
The pool was deliciously warm, an unexpected bonus as I had braced myself to be shivering from point of entry to full submersion. Apparently the management keep forgetting to turn the thermostat down before leaving the building at night. I have a theory about that but you’ll have to ask me later!
Anyway, I actually felt like I was treating myself, a blissful sanctuary that not only meant I was helping myself to get fitter, but was also enjoyable despite the clenched teeth during the £5.20 entrance fee payment.
I swam the first length with a smile on my face, gracefully breast stroking to the deep end wallowing in my own glory. So much so that the lifeguard noticed my joy and asked how I was.
“I am fabulous, this is the first time I’ve been swimming on my own in 16 years, and it feels like a real treat!”
I didn’t realise how loudly I’d pronounced my declaration until I heard a chorus of ‘wow’s around me.
I swam and swam and swam. I wanted to swim until I’d outswam every swimmer in that pool. This was my freedom, this was my exercise, this was my way of shrugging off that dressing gown and telling the world I was back.
I am no longer a stay at home mom. I am a company secretary, working from home, successful small business owner, who looks after her busy household and maintains a complex and diverse schedule!
I was swimming.
It was no Cotton Tree.
There were no parrots in the trees. There was no sand. There were no waves crashing at the ocean shore, there was no sun warming my bones, there was no laughter filling my soul, but there was me. Doing something for me. That I will one day take back to Cotton Tree.